When feelings and don’t fight them, talk it

When a relationship of some lengthends, it feels like death. Except it feels worse than death because the personyou no longer love but you still loveis living—but the relationship itself is dead. There are no words to magically take away the hurt or the sadnessor the pain of this brutal ending: the ending of a love.

A break-up brings muchpain, but pain is temporary because of the various ways to nurse your woundsand carry on. Cope with your feelings and don’t fight them, talk it out withyour family or close friends, list the advantages of being single, and most importantlydon’t lose faith in another relationship.Abreak-up is always accompanied with an immense variety of powerful andemotional feelings including anger, confusion, sadness, jealousy and regret.And if you bury all your feelings inside your mind you will only prolong thegrieving process, which might lead to a complete mental breakdown down theroad. Healthy coping is when identity these intense emotions and let yourselfactually experience and let them out. The sooner you let it all out, the betterand quicker the grieving process will be. Grieving typically consists of:depression, denial, negotiating and hopefully in the end of it all, acceptance.

Acceptance is the key element to eventually move on from an unsuccessful relationship.In order to survive a break-up, you must swallow the bitterness of reality. Clichéas it may sound but reality does truly bite hard, and leave a heavy mark.

It’snow all up to you to take that scar as a lesson and not as a punishment. Giveyourself plenty of time to heal, and remember that only time will heal all yourwounds. Put away the pictures and the gifts that remind you of your ex becausea part of loving is learning to let go. Resist the temptations to call ormessage your ex to get together because rebound relationships are typically amistake. Keep yourself busy doing anything that makes you feel good aboutyourself.

Thereafter,it was highly recommended to openly talk about your feelings. You can talkabout your feelings regarding your break-up with anyone you please, preferablysomeone you can trust and love. By simply talking to a family member or even afriend, you can come to new and better understandings and even find a cure toyour pain. Holding those negative feelings within you just never is thesolution, no matter what the circumstance is. Letting these emotions not onlytakes the load off your chest, you can potentially discover that what you aregoing on is actually very common and many have gone through the similarsituation and survived perfectly fine, happier than ever.

Don’t isolateyourself, especially when you feel hopeless. Talkingto your friends or loved one also keeps your mind off your past relationshipand instead boost your other relations. Make a plan to go out with your friends,whether it is going to the movies, grabbing dinner, or even just playing gamesat home together. It’ll make you realize being single isn’t bad after all andactually gives you the opportunity to do whatever you like, whenever you likeand not dwell on the past. Inaddition to discussing your feelings, you should also consider listing all the advantagesof being single. Start by getting comfortable in your own private space, sitdown, and simply close your eyes and take a deep breath. Loosen your body andsoothe your mind, and grab a piece of paper and something to write with. Soonafter, just start to jot down the benefits of being single.

As silly as thismay sound, writing down these pros will actually stimulate positivity to yournegatively affected mood. Just to get you started, here a few reasons to remindyou the blessings being single gives: you can have the whole bed to yourself; youcan be as messy as you want without any criticism; you will have much moreindividual freedom; you will have more control over your daily routines and nolonger have to negotiating and compromise around them. But most importantly, itis essential to understand that now you are capable to out your own needs firstand don’t have to please anyone else. This step in surviving a break-up mayseem unnecessary, but by writing out the advantages of being single gives you avisual of the endless reasons to not feel any remorse over one unsuccessful relationship.Thefinal and most important stage in overcoming a break-up is to come to anunderstanding to not lose any faith in another relationship. The first step, isto rid that belief that all relationships are untrustworthy, a waste of time,and just simply a bad idea. Generalizing from one faulty relationship is theworst way to get back up from a heart break. If you stick to this negativebelief, you will miss out on the beautiful opportunities for a relationship worthhaving.

Instead of generalizing all relationships, try to learn from your pastrelationships. This does not mean to find ways to blame yourself for therelationship coming to an end, instead it is an opportunity for you tounderstand how to have a stronger relationship in the future again. Learningpromotes self-growth, which is the second step in keeping faith for anotherchance. Once the time has come, in which you took the effort to self-reflect,take the final initiative in surviving a break-up which is dating again.

Remindyourself that you were able to survive on your own before you were ever in arelationship and that you will be able to continue to thrive on your own evenafter the relationship. There are things that we do not want to happen, but have to accept;things we do not want to know, but have to learn; and a person we cannot livewithout, but have to let go. Relationships are like a glass, sometimes it isbetter to leave them broken than trying to hurt yourself by putting it back together.No matter how painful a break-up is, there are always opportunities to start anew life. Never let a break-up get you down.


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