Sadly, the world we live in today is made up of many problems and sad truths that seem to be growing faster than we can imagine, one in which we see most often in society today that is overlooked.
This problem is the divorce rate in Canada. According to www.statcan.gc.ca (2008) 38%-44% of marriages in Canada end in divorce and there were 28,805 divorces alone in Ontario. The divorce rate for couples with children is 38% which is just 2% lower than America.
Not only does this impacts the lives of adults that are experiencing and going through the divorce, it also has an impact on the children who are twisted up in a chaotic situation. On the other hand, many children with divorced parents are able to overcome and grow to become independent and stable after being impacted from this trauma. After researching the causes of divorce and looking at the rippling effects it can have on children, we need to understand why this is an extensive problem that needs to be under control.
Most children that are negatively affected by divorce are likely to have feelings mistrust, behaviour problems, and experience a change in their lifestyle. The causes of divorce should be looked over and avoided. The first cause of divorce in our society today is continual arguments.
As stated in article by MSN Lifestyle “54% of exes that were surveyed claimed that their split was caused by constant arguments” (2014). Instead of both parties trying to understand what the arguments were about and why the souse had certain complaints, each spouse was trying to make their own valid points to why they were right and the other was wrong. To avoid future arguments it is very important for both parties to take action and make change to themselves related off what the other party has issues of. When there is no respect in the relationship arguments will continue to arise and the situation will only become worse. In cases where arguments do arsie both sides need to take the time to calm down and grasp each others viewpoints and make an agreement. Financial problems are a number 1 topic that most couples argue over but can also be another cause for divorce. Before getting into a marriage, many couples don’t take the time to discuss their financial lives and spending budgets they should have in their marriage.
It only creates more problems when certain things like this aren’t talked about. At study done at Utah State University states that if both spouses are materialistic tend to be the most unhappiest. Living the “American Dream” is what most couples visualize their life being but when in reality it’s not. They believe in buying the newest and nicest things so it will make them happy and fulfill their lives. In today’s age, these purchases are just causing couples to go into debt as all they do is constantly spend. The way money is valued to people who obsess over the materialistic things makes a huge impact on the relationship because some people may value their money with content.
When this conflict arises it leaves financial frustration on both individuals. When financial frustration occurs in relationship and the viewpoints of money is unclear to both parties this can lead to disagreements and arguments which can eventually lead to a divorce. In an article found in Global News (2015) it costs on an average $243,656 to raise a child to the age of 18 in Canada. The costs included in raising and supporting a child are personal purchases, school related purchases, food, and clothing. The responsibility and roles of parent should be divided equally among the two partners and should be clearly understood. If both parents cooperate and work to come up with a financial plan that works for the both of them, they can avoid divorce and financial stress that is sure to come. Another cause for divorce is the rate in young age marriages. It is believed that marriage at a younger age may result in a high divorce rate and there are several reasons to propose this to be real.
The first reason why a young marriage may not last is simply because they are not read, they may not be 110% committed to the other person and may not even be able to comprehend the roles and responsibilities in a marriage and to even begin a family. In an article by McFarling Law it states that “60% of people aged 25 and under that married ended in divorce largely because of the age factor” (2012). To prevent a marriage from failing due to age, the roles and responsibilities of both spouses need to be completely accepted and recognized, this is important because taking a huge step in their life takes responsibility and maturity and if this isn’t developed between the two the marriage will end in failure. Another cause of divorce that comes alongside young age is a lack of commitment. If getting married at a young age is an option than hopefully that commitment and effort is shown throughout the entire marriage. According to MSN living again, “73% of marriages ended in divorce due to the lack of commitment put forth” (2014).
When married couples have some sort of commitment on their relationship it gives a sense of safety and security to the other person which can limit conflict between the mariage. The feeling of safety and security allows the couple to open up to each other and unveil emotions towards each other. Without any initiative, both parties can become aggravated with each other and pursue the relationship even tho neither of the two are truly comfortable. There is no doubt that when parents are going through a divorce mistrust, a change in behaviour, and change lifestyle are present in this transition. Children have been taught to trust their parents and know that they are loved and cared for, so when their family changes it impacts their relationships with their parents and it may change the way they look at other people in society.
Some children could never picture their parents splitting but if it happens it can become a traumatic experience for them. Children can sense the love between their parents weaken and that’s when they start feeling helpless causing them to create trust issues. When other people are around them they start questioning everything and everybody, they wonder if anyone can be trusted because if they can’t even trust their parents who are they really to trust. With this mentality a child’s life may be a little more difficult. A child’s behaviour also can be greatly affected in this experience, all children tend to react differently based on the age range.
More than often when parents start arguing children witness it but don’t have the power to stop it and cannot control the incident. This scenario causes children to have emotional stress. Constantly seeing this behaviour coming from the parents who the children use as their role models, tends to leave the chillrend with perception that this behaviour is acceptable. While children are witnessing this they may pick up this behaviour and start acting more aggressive in society because they believe that is the right thing to do since their parents do.
More dependent children up the age of 9 are more connected to their parents and more than likely will show a better representation of their grief and emotion in favour of adolescents. Adolescents are found to be more closed off and disconnected to their parents, they’d rather not share their thoughts and usually keep to themselves which can result in rebellious behaviour. This may not be true for all, but many will feel confused and betrayed by the people who love them the most. Their lifestyle can change throughout the divorce in different stages.
Some may be taken away from the other parent in a custody battle that can lead the child resenting the person that took them away from the other one. Often times this can leave a wrecked emotional bond between the child and parent.In joint custody is granted and they both agree to have them just at separate times, the children’s life can become more difficult switching from homes time to time. Divorce is happening in society today and it is an ugly option that we have to deal with.
It can be prevented but no one should have to go through that and certainly not children being caught up in it. If understanding that financial problems, communication, and commitment in a relationship are expected to keep a marriage going, divorces can less likely occur. When a divorce does take place this takes a tremendous toll on a child causing them to have trust issues especially with parents and severe lifestyle and behavioral changes. If divorce rates decline it can leave the children healthier and have a more structured life.