My reflection on Cognitive Behavioral Theory
Going through the content and the inner depth meaning of cognitive behavioral theory, gives me a great room for becoming a better person. Having many abilities of socializing, helping people stranger or someone I know, been able to interact and console a broken heart but the tamper within me never helped me create a place for myself in anyone’s heart. It’s sad to think over a situation when one day everyone will leave me because of my own tamper. There were times when I also thought it could be a severe psychological problem and I should get an apposite treatment from a well reputed psychiatrist. There were times when my own loved ones thought that I was dominating or humiliating them because at that point of the time when I was angry, I would speak anything never realizing that I am hurting the other person’s emotion. Therefore, these negative and unrealistic thoughts caused me distress and resulted many problems.
I really like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy because it makes me think a lot about myself and my thoughts. The way I think today has a lot to do with how I felt before taking up this counseling class. I thought of myself as not a good human being and someone who deserves to be respected. I see myself being very loud, aggressive and very close to barbarian. I was extremely afraid of being left out and most importantly feared to live a life filled with regrets, so I had a lot of trouble trying talking to myself and reminding myself to calm down, remind myself to take things frivolously and positively.
The details from cognitive behavioral theory also reminds me that all the problems I faced with people around me, from my childhood till date were not because of those people but the devil within myself, my emotion. As much as I’m very outspoken, I’m not a very carefree person, it worries me to think what people might think if I spoke that way, I might fail if I don’t do this way… I never gave freedom to my own emotions. Most precisely, I cared so much about showing the best part of me and when people behaved against my aspects I always felt betrayed. With my friends who were close to me, I would never realize that I don’t have the rights to shout or advise them like their parents, but I did making them feel dominated or insulted. The straight forward nature in me also comes into picture sometime, but it’s weird to see that I don’t like it when someone does that to me. So definitely it must be a serious problem in me. Either I’m dominating or maybe I’m too stupid.
Never the less, I still think learning about cognitive behavioral theory gave me enormous space to observe myself and my flaws. Not only observe but also to practice the best practices to fish out the worst out of myself and preserve the best in me. It helped me think very differently and act differently. People say I’m a lovely person until they encounter my tamper. Yet my friends and family who know me within me do always agree that I’m a beautiful person in actuality but the tamper I have spoils everything. My family members and friends always suggested me to control my tamper and to calm down during any worst situation but there was none who could actually show me the right way. This theory is what I really needed, it motivated me and gave me the hope that I can change to become the most complete person.
I finally decided that I couldn’t be judged poorly anymore and I am now living a different life. Psychologically people tend to forget the good you do to them but they will forever remember the bad. I should not be remembered for my tamper and I should not lose my loved ones. There were times I thought I would be so depressed not being able to keep myself calm, but I’m actually pretty happy now that I at least have an idea of bringing out the best in me. If I start feeling aggravated and exasperated, I tell myself that I have the best husband who is very supportive and committed towards me, so loyal and most importantly loves me like we first met. A daughter who looks up to me as her role model, she needs none if I’m around her and her mother is the best and the only person who comforts her. My mother who cares for my every single need, though I’m already a mother myself, my mom still feeds me my favorite food, having her around, my life as a working mother becomes so easy and lively. My father; the first man in life has always accepted me with all the flaws. None the less he always believed me and supported me more than he did to my siblings and finally my siblings who have always been with me through thick and thin and of course some of my very close friends with whom I became wild, laughed and created memories. Looking into the faces of these people around me, I think bringing some change in me can make everyone happy, most importantly myself. With such wonderful people around me, if I have this kind of a nature I’m definitely asking too much from life. I think of those people, who have none in their life. A woman never treated well or respected by a husband, abandoned by children and lost parents at an early age. Imagining the lives of such people, my life is beautiful and I should be wise to treasure this wonderful life.
I found out that the way I think about things has a lot to do with how I feel. Another example is; If I’m feeling like I have a life so rough and I can’t afford something, I now think about people who are homeless and have nothing or about poor starving children and then my thinking changes to, “I have life pretty good”. This theory has brought great change in me and given me endless opportunity to make my life better and lively.
However, this theory has great relevance to the kind of a person I believe in myself. I always feel I’m good at convincing and counseling people. Though I’m not an actual counselor in my school but as a class teacher there were situations when I had to counsel my students. Even as a friend I did comfort many of my friends when in their worst situations and helped them take the right decisions in life. This theory has become an additional tool in me to help those people who seek help from me. I will use it to try to help people change their way of thinking in order to change the way they feel and behave about things. If I feel my student has trouble confronting people or even speaking up in class because they are afraid of rejection, I will help them transform their way of thinking and that it is okay to be discarded. One rejection or even more doesn’t define them as being no good. I will give them homework to confront at least two people by just saying” hi” to start with and more if they feel comfortable after that. I will also have them raise their hand in class and ask a question or make a comment about something referring to class and then write down how they felt and what they were thinking in both these situations so that we can discuss it later.
I have already made changes in my life using this theory by altering the way I think about things and the way I perceive these thoughts. I have learned to think about what I used to think of as something bad that happened in my life, as something that happened for a reason and that I need to take this bad thing and make something good out of it. For example; I thought why did people always bothered me or tried to go against my thought and made me feel just aggravated, I now think about it as, these people cared for me and are comfortable with me for which they like to be what they are, with me. It led me to become a person of clam mind and wise to realize not to hurt the ones who love you.