I always hear those old sayings. In the course f the day I can hear them about everything from retraining old dogs to getting up early. I think they make sense and I even ponder on some of them, but I never really thought once might mean as much to me, or become as realistic as it has become in my life. The clichés about telling those you love, how you feel, before it too late and the ones about living every day like it is your last have an all new meaning to me.
Often times we find ourselves thinking about the past only to try to force the memories away and return to our current delusion. We can never erase the past, but if the past is who we are, then should we just welcome back pain into our lives? Embarrassment, guilt, and pride betray us as we chose to bury our darkest memories in our head and look to a positive future without ever having to readdress them and acknowledge that they had ever happened in the first place. Thinking back now my weakest moment caught me by complete surprise.
“Buhahaha” which is exactly, how my friend Kiera sounds whenever you can honestly make her laugh. I was just smiling at her and coming up with crazy metaphors, “coke is a roller coaster it high and low points”. We were in charge of “The line” as my fellow National Honor Society Peers put it during the registration process at O.P. Walker High school about nine years ago. The ironic absence of food as we just stood in the cafeteria telling people that they had to wait at our specific checkpoint before they could go to the next registration station table was slapping us in the face. We continued to joke about how they expect us to “work” for free even though our only actual job was to tell people to wait until there was room them to continue in the café. We were making plans to go for a run after we got out because “summer” was almost over.
We were both in cross country and we enjoyed to run together because we had similar pace that allowed us to push each other. But time began to freeze as our jokes began to fade. We began to goof off in a sense that though telling people to stop was supposed to be a two person job we would change shifts “Hello” I said in my cheery voice. There was a pause on the other side of the line. Then to my complete surprise my father begins to cry on the other side of the line. Finally, when he calmed down a bit I asked what was wrong and whether or not everything was alright. That is when she told me the news.
“As your mother was driving on the expressway she was hit by a semi-truck. I need you home now.” This was my wakeup call and I knew that I had to hurry home.
“I’m coming home now mom. I’ll be there in a bit. Everything is going to be alright.” Keeping my composure I went to the NHS president and told her that I had a family emergency and that I had to go. For some reason she was giving me a hard time about it but after seeing my eyes she asked if everything was alright.
I just said I had to go and she finally let me go without asking anything further of me. I darted out the cafeteria doors taking a right on the first floor hall way on the east side of the