A man and women who are supposed to love each other come together at some point in time and create a beautiful little human being or human beings out of there love. In a perfect world, that man and women stay together and raise the love they created forever. Both doing there part as parents.
But unfortunately, that’s not the case for most. Today more than twenty million children live in homes without the presence of a father. Millions more have fathers who are physically present, but emotionally absent. They say that “if fatherlessness was classified as a disease, fatherlessness would be an epidemic most worthy of attention as a national emergency.” My mother and father separated when I was three. At that time I was too young to understand or even really notice at the time my father was no longer around. In my mind, we where just away on vacation.
Dad needed time to get better because he was “sick”. At least that’s what my mother would tell me to protect me. After a couple years, i started catching on.
I had these small memories of a man who I used to call “daddy” and go fishing with. One day I decided to ask my mother why he never comes around and no longer sends me letters. She explained, it was due to drug addiction and it took me a long time to fully understand and stop blaming myself for his absence. As I got older I started researching things on the absences of a father in a females life, I mean naturally, i wanted some answers. Dr. Phil has said, “The most powerful role model for a child is their same-sex parent. And the opposite-sex parent is a close second.
” a father is to have a certain roll in his daughter’s life. It’s important to have both parents present to keep everything in good balance. I can’t help but wonder if the way I live my life and the way I look at relationships and men would be different today if my father would have been apart of my life. I have read that Girls who had a father in there life growing up are more likely to have healthier relationships with men in adulthood because they learn from their fathers what a respectful man is and how proper men act toward women.
Women who grow up without a father figure struggle with feelings of low self-esteem and unworthiness. I have defiantly had my fair share of these feelings myself. Iyanla Vanzant calls these women “daddyless daughters” Iyanla says “that the role of the father is to teach his daughter how to be in a non-sexual, intimate relationship with a man. In fact, it’s the first relationship a daughter has with a man and therefore teaches her how a woman should be treated.” but, if Dad leaves, Iyanla explains that, that women with try to find love in unhealthy ways. In conclusion, with all that being said. I can say that, in my experience that is al very true but Despite all the statistics, I can proudly say that I have made it in this world without my father.
I did at one point for a long time blame my father’s absence for all the bad decisions I made when it came to my life choices and my choice of men. But, as I got older I started holding myself accountable for my actions. I was just using that as an excuse in my opinion. Because I’m in control of my life, my father is not.
Not all women take fatherlessness the same way. For some, it affects them for there whole life and they dwell on that forever and can never find the strength to let go and forgive. For others they eventually let it go and maybe still hold a small grudge but I mean naturally you’ll always have that small amount of heartache but take it as a learning experience and become stronger as women.
I guess it all depends on how strong you are mental to determine how the absence of a father effects a girl from childhood to adulthood.
